I live in a very tiny coastal NC town. It’s filled with churches, and places that shut down on Sundays, Lily Pulitzer, boats most people can’t afford and maybe 3 decent restaurants. The average lady here is actually from here, or somewhere close and is quite Southern. And then here I am over in the corner all with my big dark hair, olive skin, and tiny frame. I’ve mentioned before in another post that I like to be “around” but not necessarily seen. I like to blend in (hard to do when visually I stand out whether I want to or not). While that’s o.k, if you let it go too far it can become quite incapacitating. Mom cliques I’m not apart of, sporting events I don’t really have the time for, dropping my kids off at school in sunglasses on the GRAYEST rainy day because I just don’t give a shit enough at 7 a.m. to put a full face and pressed clothes on but still need to hide my dark circles. Jesus, I haven’t even had a sip of coffee yet.
Within the last month or so I’ve been haphazardly thrown into these LulaRoe fb party groups that [to tell you the truth] just pissed me off in the beginning. Because: Thanks for asking people! Now my phone is dinging left and right and I’m turning notifications off in pretty much everything so that when my phone does ring or send a tone, I know it’s for something that ACTUALLY needs my attention (did I mention I have 4 children). But on my really good days when the tiny bunny inside of me wakes up [because I am a softy], I want to support my friends and take a look at what it is they think I HAVE to have. So I was like “fuck it… send me a pair of these damn leggings with flying pigs for Christ’s sake so we can be done with it”.
Yeah well, I’m not too proud to allow them to say “told you so”. I fell in love. Fell in love with the leggings because they’re soft and FUN and HAPPY; fell in love with the dresses because they’re comfy and cute…It’s a love fest. Maybe it’s because you can both fit in while standing out at the same time. Which to me is an amazing feeling. Because everyone wants to feel accepted to some degree at the same time they’re expressing themselves – through fashion, tattoos, hair, poetry… whatever floats your boat. And if you say you don’t, I call bullshit.
The best thing to come out of all of this? It took me out of my comfort zone of black, beige, and white. Maybe because I do channel a little boho in some of my attire choices I’m not sure but, loud and eye catching as they are, I just don’t care. I feel GOOD when I’m wearing them. As a matter of fact STARE AWAY people! It’s really never about just the product itself. Almost always about how it makes you feel. Others have noticed my outward confidence and I’ve even attracted some new friends. Still an “inny” and love my personal time but it’s a nice change of pace. I wish the same sense of peace [if you don’t already have it], feelings of confidence and acceptance for any lady.
So I’m not painting the town beige anymore kids. I’m all kindsa color all over the place and I think it’s good for the soul.